


Immutable

by Keiko Kirin (sakana17)



Category: Dong Bang Shin Ki
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-05-18
Updated: 2009-05-18
Packaged: 2017-10-02 15:05:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakana17/pseuds/Keiko%20Kirin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Junsu learns that some things can change forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Immutable

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for the dbsk_flashfic prompt "alchemy."

It's possible to turn an opportunity into a lost moment.

_Yunho. It would have to be Yunho_, Junsu thought, watching him in the mirror during a break in practice. Junsu had been telling himself this was yet another crush -- everyone had a crush on Yunho -- but he'd been telling himself this for two months and was no closer to believing it now than he was then.

It didn't feel like a crush. Crushes never hurt like this. Junsu used to soar from a simple smile; now he would flinch inside because it wasn't enough. He couldn't even describe what he wanted -- just that he wanted something more. Something deep and scary and thrilling. It was so close sometimes. Almost within reach when they were alone together. When Yunho, unaware, was just being Yunho.

Like now. When Yunho turned around, he caught Junsu watching him and grinned and did some goofy moves to make Junsu laugh. Then he challenged Junsu to a handstand contest, which Junsu won as usual.

Sitting on the floor, catching their breath as the blood rushed back to their legs, Junsu watched the pulse on Yunho's neck, imagined what he could say, what he could do, to reach out. Yunho turned then, catching him staring again, and stared back, a question in his eyes.

A question Junsu decided not to answer, breaking the moment with a bad joke and loud laughter. It was possible to turn friendship into disappointment, disgust, or, even worse, pity. Junsu decided he'd rather hurt than risk losing what he had. Even if what he had was not enough.

\-----

It's possible to turn confusion into certainty.

Yoochun snuck up on him. Yoochun found a place where he belonged -- where he wanted to stay -- while Junsu wasn't paying attention. By the time Junsu noticed how their friendship had changed, had become something more, Yoochun was already there.

They were sitting in the van with Changmin, who was asleep. Junsu was half-curled next to Yoochun, his head on Yoochun's shoulder, held in Yoochun's embrace. Comfortable and secure. There was nothing unusual about this, Junsu thought, and that's when he understood.

"Yoochun," he said softly and certainly. He rested his hand on Yoochun's knee and stole a glance to catch Yoochun's smile.

Yoochun planted a soft kiss on Junsu's forehead. "I've been waiting," Yoochun said. "It's okay. I'll wait as long I have to."

It wasn't the sudden high of a fleeting crush, and not the sharp, confusing ache of an unrequited attraction. It was warm and generous and patiently welcoming. Junsu said, "You don't have to wait anymore." And just like that, Yoochun showed him how to love, simply and unreservedly.

\-----

It's possible to turn affection into passion.

_Why me, all of a sudden?_ Junsu thought, helping Jaejoong with his hotel room key.

Jaejoong slung his arm across Junsu's shoulders and breathed out rote Japanese politeness, "Thank you for taking care of me," in a gust of alcohol sweetness. Junsu held the door open with his foot and tried to deposit Jaejoong inside, but Jaejoong dragged him along.

_This should be Yunho's responsibility,_ Junsu decided with the tolerant acceptance of someone with his own warm bed and loving caresses to return to. At any rate, Junsu couldn't see why he had to be the one steering Jaejoong toward the bed, bringing him water, picking up his clothes, and avoiding his pawing hands.

Jaejoong finally caught him and pulled him to sit on the bed. Locked his arms around Junsu and put his cheek on Junsu's shoulder, saying, "You're being so good to me." Before Junsu could agree, Jaejoong demonstrated his appreciation with a kiss.

It was more than a kiss, though, because Jaejoong was being free with his hands, inviting with his touch, decisive with his body. A cascade of temptations down to his hot skin, sealed when he said, "I'm not that drunk."

Later, Jaejoong patted Junsu's forearm and said, "Don't feel guilty. I seduced Yoochunnie, too." Which wasn't how Yoochun told it, but Junsu figured both versions of events were true in their own way.

Junsu sprawled lazily against Jaejoong and assured him, "I don't."

\-----

It's possible to turn chaos into stillness.

Sometime in the night, somewhere in Japan, on the highway between cities, Junsu woke up for no reason. Everyone else was asleep except for the driver. Changmin had slumped over sideways to use Junsu's shoulder as a pillow. Junsu slipped his arm around Changmin, and Changmin murmured, "Jun-chan."

"Changminnie," Junsu murmured back. He lightly rubbed Changmin's arm. Changmin yawned and nestled comfortably.

Junsu closed his eyes but wasn't sleeping when Changmin took his hand and threaded their fingers together. Junsu smiled and gently squeezed Changmin's hand. Much as Junsu loved fighting with Changmin, making Changmin laugh, he loved this, too: the rare chance to share peace and quiet.

\-----

It's possible to turn a lost moment into a treasured forever.

In the middle of a riotous, ridiculous debate where everyone was laughing too hard to remember what the point was, Yunho grabbed Junsu from behind to absorb some of Junsu's irrepressible energy. Yunho was all arms and easy warmth. Junsu relaxed in his embrace and glanced back at him, grinning.

Yunho smiled back. "Should I let you go?"

Above the shouts of, "No, don't!" from the peanut gallery, Junsu said, "Only if you want to."

Yunho pretended to mull this over. When he said, "I did once, without knowing what I was doing, didn't I?" there was only a touch of seriousness behind his smile, but Junsu caught it and understood.

Junsu said, "But I didn't go very far, did I?"

"No," Yunho agreed with a soft kiss on Junsu's cheek.

It's possible to have a love for every mood, bonds so deep and intertwined they are immutable and everlasting.

(the end)


End file.
